We can’t even drape an Awesome Video Alert on this new clip from MILEY CYRUS, because uhhhhh, holy shit what in the fuck is going on here? And I thought I felt uncomfortable a few years ago when I nearly drove off Memorial Drive upon learning that “See You Again” (one of the best songs of the 2000s) was performed by the former Miss Hannah Montana.

And speaking of — get that innocent lil’ Hanna image out of your pedo head right now before Chris Hansen of To Catch a Predator walks out into your kitchen and asks what you’re doing with all those fake fingers, French-fry skulls, and neon jimmy-hats.

Uh, yikes. Twerk in da tub, girl.

Give us those #feelings.

EAT THAT SLICED BREAD (wut?).

Ok, deep breath. “We Can’t Stop,” the single, which does sound a lot like Rihanna, actually, debuted at Number 11 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart last week, and is the first clip from her as-yet-untitled fourth LP, out this fall. Like we even need the rest of the record after this.

In the meantime, expect to hear this shit all summer, blaring from the drop-top cars of white girls everywhere, and prepare for the College Humor parody …in about 15 minutes.

 

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