If life was simply a drag queen’s runway, Britney Spears’ new single “Work Bitch” would be a mega hit, and its video a must-see finger-snap come to life. Alas, we’re far from Jacques Cabaret on this warm Wednesday morning (our fault, not theirs), so Brit-Brit’s new jam is falling flatter than a white girl’s pancake ass.
Charli XCX, you’re needed now more than ever.
Spears’ new video premiered last night on the CW, and it’s already garnered nearly 2 million views on YouTube (there’s also an ad for her Fantasy Twist perfume before hand, so don’t get tripped up and think that’s the video). But where’s the song? Going club-hit works when you have a hook to build around (ask Madonna or Gaga), but not when you just loop the same haggard beat around dated barks and demands. Britney dancing in the desert or by the pool isn’t really enough anymore.
And, uhhhhh, “Work bitch”? RuPaul wants a word with you, honey.
We got a few minutes into this before we shut it off. How far can you get? Take the Vanya Challenge!
“Work Bitch” is the first taste of Spears’ as-yet-untitled eighth studio album, out December 3, right around when she begins her residency at Las Vegas’ Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino. Good lord.