The nominees in the 2014 American Music Awards have been released, and it’s clear there is a huge conspiracy going on behind the scenes, one we probably won’t get to see behind the Nokia Theatre curtain. The awards are handed out at the AMA’s 42nd annual gala, going down Sunday, November 23 and broadcast live at 8 p.m. EST on ABC.

According to Jam’n 94.5 FM, the 2014 “nominees were determined by several key factors (reflected via Billboard magazine), including album and digital single sales, radio airplay, streaming and social activity.”

But who is REALLY pulling the strings here? It’s clear there is some self-serving interest, and we are casting a skeptical eye towards the music industry.

Who is truly invested in Iggy Azalea’s success?

Why is Imagine Dragons nominated in Best Alternative Artist for the second straight year?

Same for Marc Anthony — are there NO other deserving Latin singers out there?

And it’s kinda weird how some artists who are clients of Scooter Braun are not represented here. Justin Bieber? Ariana Grande? Come on.

Makes you think, as Luke O’Neil would say.

The 2014 American Music Awards nominees are below. Oh, and for the record, this post is satire, and relating to the debates currently going on regarding the Boston Music Awards. We love you, AMAs! <3

ARTIST OF THE YEAR
Iggy Azalea
Beyoncé
Luke Bryan
Eminem
Imagine Dragons
John Legend
Lorde
One Direction
Katy Perry
Pharrell Williams

NEW ARTIST OF THE YEAR PRESENTED BY KOHL’S
5 Seconds of Summer
Iggy Azalea
Bastille
Sam Smith
Meghan Trainor

SINGLE OF THE YEAR
Iggy Azalea Featuring Charli XCX “Fancy”
John Legend “All of Me”
MAGIC! “Rude”
Katy Perry Featuring Juicy J “Dark Horse”
Pharrell Williams “Happy”

FAVORITE MALE ARTIST – POP/ROCK
John Legend
Sam Smith
Pharrell Williams

FAVORITE FEMALE ARTIST – POP/ROCK
Iggy Azalea
Lorde
Katy Perry

FAVORITE BAND, DUO OR GROUP – POP/ROCK
Imagine Dragons
One Direction
OneRepublic

FAVORITE ALBUM – POP/ROCK
Lorde “Pure Heroine”
One Direction “Midnight Memories”
Katy Perry “Prism”

FAVORITE MALE ARTIST – COUNTRY
Jason Aldean
Luke Bryan
Blake Shelton

FAVORITE FEMALE ARTIST – COUNTRY
Miranda Lambert
Kacey Musgraves
Carrie Underwood

FAVORITE BAND, DUO OR GROUP – COUNTRY
Eli Young Band
Florida Georgia Line
Lady Antebellum

FAVORITE ALBUM – COUNTRY
Garth Brooks “Blame It On My Roots: Five Decades of Influences”
Eric Church “The Outsiders”
Brantley Gilbert “Just As I Am”

FAVORITE ARTIST – RAP/HIP-HOP
Iggy Azalea
Drake
Eminem

FAVORITE ALBUM – RAP/HIP-HOP
Iggy Azalea “The New Classic”
Drake “Nothing Was The Same”
Eminem “The Marshall Mathers LP 2”

FAVORITE MALE ARTIST – SOUL/R&B
Chris Brown
John Legend
Pharrell Williams

FAVORITE FEMALE ARTIST – SOUL/R&B
Jhene Aiko
Beyoncé
Mary J. Blige

FAVORITE ALBUM – SOUL/R&B
Beyoncé “Beyoncé”
John Legend “Love in the Future”
Pharrell Williams “G I R L”

FAVORITE ARTIST – ALTERNATIVE ROCK
Bastille
Imagine Dragons
Lorde

FAVORITE ARTIST – ADULT CONTEMPORARY
Sara Bareilles
OneRepublic
Katy Perry

FAVORITE ARTIST – LATIN
Marc Anthony
Enrique Iglesias
Romeo Santos

FAVORITE ARTIST – CONTEMPORARY INSPIRATIONAL
Casting Crowns
Hillsong United
Newsboys

FAVORITE ARTIST – ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC (EDM)
Avicii
Calvin Harris
Zedd

TOP SOUNDTRACK
Frozen
The Fault In Our Stars
Guardians of the Galaxy: Awesome Mix, Vol. 1

 

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