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Raising the Stakes: Speedy Ortiz bassist climbs Eiffel Tower, French police not amused

Speedy Ortiz just returned from a European tour, and the Massachusetts rock quartet nearly came back a trio. That’s because bassist Darl Ferm decided to go on an adventure in France, where the band was playing the opening night of Pitchfork Paris, and climbed a good 15 feet up the Eiffel Tower.

“[D]arl climbed the eiffel tower in the pouring rain,” Speedy Ortiz wrote on Facebook on October 27. “[H]e set off an alarm & a policeman & police dog came. thanx paris.”

We decided to reach out to Speedy Ortiz and see just how close Monsieur Ferm came to getting arrested by the French police, after he got about 15 feet up on the iconic structure.

“Not very close,” admits Speedy Ortiz guitarist/vocalist Sadie Dupuis via email. “I think he had just de-scaled the tower by the time the guard got to us.”

We suspect the French don’t appreciate Americans getting all up in the Eiffel Tower’s business, especially at night and in the rain. So, aside from the usual tour shenanigans, why exactly did Fern decide to climb the Eiffel Tower?

“We were spending a lot of time talking about Erika Eiffel, and Darl wanted to recreate a scene from a documentary in which she grinds on the Eiffel Tower and brings herself to orgasm.”

Sounds reasonable. Luckily, Dupuis says, Ferm “was out of the trespassing zone by the time the cop showed up,” and adds: “Mostly [the cop] just glared at us… His shepherd dog seemed cute.”

Nominated in four categories in the 2015 Boston Music Awards (Artist of the Year, Album/EP of the Year for 2015’s Foil Deer, Rock/Indie Artist Of The Year, and Song Of The Year for “Raising The Skate”), Speedy Ortiz are back on the stage this weekend when they play Fun Fun Fun Fest in Austin. Someone please lock down the Texas State Capitol.

Watch Speedy Ortiz in “The Graduates” below, where Dupuis sings about being French club dropouts.