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Broken Toys: This new ‘Power Rangers’ film looks like an absolute disaster

The second trailer for the Power Rangers reboot is here, and it’s got everything the first one didn’t.

Action!

Giant robots punching!

Awkward jokes about how the black kid isn’t the Black Ranger!

What more could you ask for? A lot, it turns out.

This certainly looks like something that would come out in March. It’s funny that Bill Hader is playing the robot sidekick Alpha Five, because he was partially responsible for BB-8’s voice in Star Wars: The Force Awakens and this seems like a major downgrade. Bryan Cranston deserves the 20 years of easy paychecks that accompany an iconic performance, and we hope this particular check, for playing a big ol’ face named Zordon, is nice and fat. Poor Elizabeth Banks. The less said about that, the better.

Judging from the trailer below, the designs range from ugly to weird to misguided, which is weird for a franchise quite literally built around toy sales. Its blatant cribbing from other angsty teen movies is coming off less like a refreshing addition and more like an active hindrance. That’s not boding well for a movie whose source material’s quality always plunged when the main characters stepped out of costume. Every time we see that shot of the Red Ranger looking at his abs in the mirror, we start thinking about how great it is that Spider-Man is on HBO Go and how we’d rather watch that instead. In fact, aside from kung fu antics and angst, is there anything about this movie that Pacific Rim didn’t do better four years ago?

We don’t have too much invested in the Power Rangers franchise, but we’d wager die-hards shouldn’t get their hopes up when it hits theaters on March 24. And remember: at least it won’t be as bad as Masters of the Universe.