UPDATE March 2, 3:44 p.m.: Sad to say, this turned out to be a hoax: Someone was playing a prank on Nolan Powers. “I think it’s a funny prank — I think it’s one of the funniest things that I’ve seen,” he tells the Globe. “In terms of a prank, I’ll give it a nine out of 10.” We give it 3,000 out of 10.

***

Look, we’re not gonna fuck around here: Some dude named Nolan has 3,000 boxes of Hot Pockets down in Weymouth and he wants to know if you can come grab them.

Seriously. From Craigslist:

“Hi just recently sold my convience store and I have 3,000 boxes of hot pockets and I just don’t want them to go to waste. Please call me and come grab them. Nolan”

Of course, Vanyaland can’t vouch for this Nolan character. We don’t know him. And hell, he may just have 3,000 empty boxes to give away. But the flashy town of Weymouth is really just a quick 30-minute drive from Boston (after rush hour), and life’s all about taking chances, right?

If you get to Weymouth and Nolan was full of shit, well, then you drive right back to Boston and go see Slothrust at Brighton Music Hall. If Nolan does have 3,000 boxes of Hot Pockets and you score them all (we think they still sell two to a box, so you’ll have 6,000 Hot Pockets in all), well, then you still roll up to Slothrust at Brighton Music Hall armed with thousands of Hot Pockets you immediately become the King of Allston.

Hell, you can be King of America.

[h/t Universal Hub]

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