The internet is heaving hosannas at this new 60-second trailer for Wonder Woman, which dropped last night during Gotham on Fox (synergy guyz!), but we’re still pretty skeptical about the latest entry in the DC Cinematic Universe.

Peep this, everyone, and meet us below for some analysis.

Yep, that’s a summer tentpole right there.

We’ve got footage of action and the comic relief cut in time with some generic rock music, with occasional glimpses of the World War I setting to pique the interest. We still think it’s a bad choice to have set this movie in that era, and as appealing as it might be to have Diana exist in a time where she looks she could have walked off a propaganda poster, Wonder Woman continues to invite comparisons to the first Captain America film in a not-so-flattering light. From the action staging (there was a hope that Patty Jenkins would abandon Zack Snyder’s speed-ramping when she signed on to be the director here, but that was foolish on our part), to the CGI and the awful color grading, we just keep longing for the brightness of that film. Let’s rephrase that — it looks the like the same horseshit that’s come to define this current iteration of the hero, full of misunderstandings and wild swings at what the DCEU braintrust thinks that audiences want in the aftermath of the festering open-wound of franchise filmmaking known as Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice.

It was a wise choice to get Chris Pine to play alongside Gal Gadot, whose awkward acting chops should have been the cause of concern for fans everywhere, and luckily Pine’s got charisma for days. Lucy Davis’ plucky English secretary gives off horrible Kat-Dennings-in-Thor vibes, and we’re truly dreading all of the culture clash humor between her and the strong-willed Diana.

It’s just a shame that they couldn’t have done something different with this whole plot, as it just looks very lacking in its current state. Besides, we already know how this is going to end thanks to BvS: Diana’s going to become like Christian Bale at the start of The Dark Knight Rises: Separated from the world at large for personal and emotional reasons, when the right (and in-character) thing to do would be to continue being a fucking superhero. But no, let’s have her mope for a century, that’ll do the trick. That’ll bring in those Guardians of the Galaxy fans who like to laugh at organic and interesting interactions between characters, and who like the unique visual stylings of James Gunn’s work, at least that’s what Warner Bros. shareholders hope.

Hopefully we’re wrong!

We’d love to eat crow about this, as the world needs diversity in its on-screen characters, and the revitalization of one of comics’ greatest heroes would be a fantastic step in that direction. It just doesn’t look that Wonder Woman will be that film, and we’re praying that the Brie Larson-led Captain Marvel movie could be. But you can find out for yourself when it hits theaters on June 2 (holy shit does time fly), and in the meantime, you can revisit the classics.

 

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